The Christmas Challenge

Yesterday I was out running errands amid the Christmas shopping madness, and madness is really the best way to describe what I saw.  In the seasonal movies Christmas shopping is full of hustle, bustle, smiles, and people wishing each other a "Merry Christmas."  That's not at all what I saw and experienced.  Very few people smiled, I didn't hear a single "Merry Christmas," not even a "Happy Holidays."  One woman snapped at a cashier over something the poor girl had absolutely no control.  Another woman was loudly complaining because the item she was looking for wasn't available.  Everyone seemed rather rude and in such a hurry.

When did Christmas become such a chore?  

Something the last couple of years has taught me is that life is to be cherished, and our loved ones are the true gifts.  I know I wouldn't have survived what I have without my family and friends.  Christmas should be a joyous occasion, and gifts should come from heart.  

I have a challenge...

The Christmas Challenge

• Tell your family and friends that you love them.  That may be something they don't hear often, and they should hear and know it.


• Do something for someone else.   

• When you're baking your Christmas cookies, take a half dozen over to your neighbor so they know you're thinking of them.  
• Spend $5 at the Dollar Store on a hat, scarf, and pair of gloves.  Then either drop them off at your local homeless shelter or give them to the homeless man you see every day at lunch.  
• Donate a bag of food to the pet shelter, or better yet, take an animal home for the holidays so the shelter employees can have time off as well.
• Take muffins to the police or fire station in your neighborhood.
• Donate canned food to a foodbank.
• Volunteer.


• Be nice!

• Remember your manners.  Say please, thank you, and excuse me.
• Smile at those around you.  A smile is contagious, and you may find yourself starting a cheery trend.
• Don't yell at the cashier, servers, or others.  The majority of the time they aren't even responsible for whatever has you in such a sour mood anyway.  
• Pay someone a sincere compliment.

And that's the Christmas Challenge.  It does have three parts, but none of them are difficult or expensive.  The only thing they really require is for each of us to take a few moments to have a better attitude toward others. Think you can do it?

C'mon, I double dog dare you!

Take Time to Breathe

 

Thanksgiving Blessings

 

The Perfect Pet / House Sitter

A few years a go this Crazy Lady stayed with a friend's dog while she went out of town with her family.  I had no idea that would lead to what I do now -- pet and house sitting.  I guess I just didn't think about people paying others to stay in their home while they were away, but I can certainly see a need for it now.  

Of course it's easier on the pet to stay at home than it is to be in a kennel at the vet's office or someplace like that, although there are some really great boarding kennels out there now.  (It's also a good way for me to earn a few extra dollars because I can honestly tell you that no one gets rich on disability!)

It's also just good for the homeowner because someone in the home not only deters break ins, but it sure helps in other situations.  Just a couple of things that have occurred while I've been on a job have been a broken water pipe and the house getting struck by lightning, after the storm had passed.  (That was one crazy day!)  It's so much better to have someone there to respond as the crisis is happening, rather than coming home and having to respond to the mess you would find after the disaster has struck, and I can tell you that both of the incidents I mentioned could have resulted in disasters for the homeowners.  

And in a roundabout way, that brings me to the point of this blog post...

Because I'm a pet / house sitter I'm often asked, how does one find the perfect sitter?  Well, here are a few tips to help your search.

First, think about your pet.  For instance, if you're seeking a sitter for a dog, is your dog young, high energy, requires daily runs, etc.?  If that's the case, then you probably want to concentrate your search on someone who can spend a lot of time with your baby, take her on daily runs, and really use that energy so that she's not destructive while you're on vacation.

However, if your dog is older and enjoys napping the day away with occasional trips through the doggy door into the back yard, then a lower-energy sitter, such as a grandmother is probably the perfect choice.  

What if you have a puppy?  You might want to concentrate your search on someone who has experience training young dogs.  Match your sitter choice to your pet.

Now that you have an idea of who you're looking for, where do you look for them?  There are several places to check.  You can ask family, friends, and neighbors if they know someone.  You can also do a search at places such as Rover.com, Care.com, National Association of Professional Pet Sitters, Professional United Pet Sitters, etc.  Most sites allow you to search by location and more.  You can usually search by price as well.  

Look for a sitter who's experienced, has references, will meet with you and your pet beforehand, and provides updates with pictures during the stay.  When you meet the prospective sitter, make sure they mesh with both you and your pet.  If anyone is uncomfortable, don't be afraid to say, "No, thank you."

Make sure you check references that are provided, and be sure they come from clients, not from friends and family.  Friends and family are great, but you want to know how the sitter is on the job, not how they behave during a night out or at a family event.  

You also want to make sure you find a sitter that's capable of handling any emergencies that may arise, both pet related and otherwise.  That means checking to make sure they know pet first aid and CPR, while also knowing what to do should a pipe burst or some other home crisis occur.  

If the sitter doesn't ask you about, share with them about your vet, insurance, etc.  Also detail your pet's schedule for feeding and activities, so everyone knows what's involved and expected.  The more information that is shared up front is the less chance for surprises in the end.  

Again, see how your pet interacts with the person.  If something doesn't feel right, don't hesitate to keep looking.  Animals are very good judges of character, and this person will be staying in your home while taking care of a beloved, furry family member.  You need to trust them.  

One thing to always remember is to book your sitter as soon as you know the dates you'll need them.  Good sitters can book up months in advance, so you don't want to wait until the last minute to schedule the visit.

I hope this helps.  If you have questions, please ask them. I'll be more than happy to answer them, expand this post, and help in any way.

Have a great one!

Where Does the Time Go...

When we're young time takes forever.  Christmas and summer will never come, but we can't wait to grow up.  Then, one day, we're older.  Time is a blink of an eye.  One day you're graduating from school.  Blink.  You're married with a child.  Blink.  That child leaves home to start his own life.  Another blink.

This last year has been a strange mix of time and blinks.  

We had a pandemic that shut down the entire world, and time passed so slowly, much more slowly than the lives lost to COVID.  Those loved ones were gone in a blink.

A tornado tore up my hometown. Lives lost.  Parts of my childhood erased.  It all happened in a blink, but the recovery takes so much time.

So many friends lost family and loved ones.  My loved ones turned another year older.  Thankfully, so did I.

I lost Titan.  He was with me for over 12 years, and then he was gone in a blink.

Because I'm disabled, I'm home, a lot.  One day drags into the next.  Then, in a blink, my health changed.  I had a stroke on Nov. 1, and it really didn't take long, but those days in the hospital drug on, especially that first night, when I couldn't use my leg or hand.  My recovery was actually very rapid, but it seemed that it took forever.  I'm still recovering, months later.

And all of these eons and blinks this last year have had me thinking.  Deep thinking.  

Except for a few exceptions, my family is generally blessed with decent health and long lives.  I'm going to be one of those exceptions.

Many women dread turning a year older.  They may even lie about their age.  I celebrate.  It means I've survived another year, a year that allowed me to enjoy time with my family, watch my grandchildren grow, and just relish life.  Another year of experiences, not as exciting as they used to be, but experiences just the same.  

In 1976 a school assignment changed my life.  We were given two weeks to take our family tree back as far as possible, and the one thing we had to include was each individual's profession. I thought it sounded pretty boring, but I was always good about doing my school work, so I quickly set about discovering my history. Mom was of great help with her family, and a phone call to my grandparents filled in a few of the blanks.  Dad, however, wasn't as clear on his side, so he had me call two of his aunts.  Lola Bell McCormick was incredible.  She gave me a notebook, family charts, and all sorts of fun little things, as well as a great deal of information. Then Lurlene McCormick spent an entire day with Mom and me, traveling all over Putnam and Overton Counties to introduce me to ancestors I'd never heard of before that day.  She was a fountain of family lore and stories and truly seemed to enjoy the day we all spent together.  

I was hooked.  What I thought would be a fairly boring assignment turned out to be a huge jigsaw puzzle that I'm still plugging pieces into over 40 years later. I've compiled centuries of data.  

But what if there's another blink, and I'm gone?  What happens to all of that history?  I want to gather the leaves of this family tree that I've raked up over the last few decades and make sure I get it all together in one spot.  I want to get the stories down, record the family recipes, and leave it for my sons and grandchildren, as well as the nieces, nephews, and cousins.  I want them to discover this incredible family we share and know their history.   I truly believe that we learn from our past.   I know I did. 

I don't want it all to disappear in a blink.  Don't be surprised if you begin to see more frequent blog posts as I start compiling it all.  I want my children and grandchildren to know some of my stories.  Yvonne is tired of hearing them!  Perhaps I'll write them now.  Save them for posterity.  

Or maybe there will be another blink, and I'll just fade away.  

We'll just have to see...

Donna's Gazpacho

Gazpacho is a Spanish soup made of blended, raw vegetables and served chilled.  It's not for everyone, but if you love that eight vegetable juice then you will love this soup.  If you can't get over eating it out of a bowl with a spoon, then put it in a chilled mug and drink it.  It's good either way!

Gazpacho

Ingredients:

• 4 cups tomato juice, divided in half
• 1/2 medium Vidalia onion, peeled and coarsely chopped
• 1 small green bell pepper, cored, seeded and coarsely chopped
• 2 stalks celery, coarsely chopped
• 1 small cucumber, peeled, seeded and coarsely chopped
• 2 Tablespoons fresh basil leaves, sliced
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 1/2 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1/2 teaspoon sea salt, or to taste
• 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 2 Tablespoons olive oil

Directions:

Put 2 cups of the tomato juice and all of the other ingredients in a blender.  Puree.  Slowly stir the remaining 2 cups of tomato juice into the pureed mixture.  Chill

Gazpacho should be served almost icy cold, so it's even better if it's allowed to chill overnight.  The flavors have time to develop and meld, while the raw onion taste greatly fades into the background and allows the other flavors to shine. 

Garnish gazpacho with cracked black pepper, diced veggies, and/or herbs. 

Serve in a chilled bowl, or mug, with toasted bread.


Serves 6.

Celebrating Family

Two women I know lost their fathers to the COVID-19 virus over the last couple of weeks.  I can’t begin to imagine their pain. Not only have they lost someone so important in their life, but it’s happened at such an odd and difficult time.  Neither of them was able to properly say goodbye. The grieving process is hard enough, and now it’s different for them, and it’s all because of this virus and how it’s affected our lives.  

I am truly blessed, though.  Not only are both of my parents still with me -- my father turned 80 in February, but we were recently able to celebrate my father’s life with family and friends.   

The best way to sum up my father is to say that he’s a good man.  Dad is honest, hard working, and ethical, qualities he developed growing up the eighth of nine children on a working farm.  He tends to be on the quiet side, which may be because he lost his mother when he was 13, or maybe he’s just quiet. My brother and I learned early in life to listen when Dad spoke because it was probably going to be something we either needed or wanted to hear.  

Mom would play endless games of rummy or Sorry! with us, but Dad made little toys for us.  He made pop guns that shot dogwood berries or slingshots, things that had Mom worrying about one of us getting injured, but I don’t recall any boo boos along the way.  I only remember those little toys and the fun.  

Dad raises a garden every summer, and they were huge because it fed us throughout the year.  I remember watching Dad break ground with a horse and plow, a tiller, a hoe, whatever he needed and had access to.  He would work all day and then come home and spend hours in the garden. I loved it when the fresh vegetables started coming into season.  Dad and I both love to slice a tomato and enjoy it by itself. I would help Mom shell peas and snap beans. We all loved fresh corn on the cob, hot and smothered in butter, but Mom and Dad would slice it off the cob, freeze it, and then we’d have Mom’s fried corn all winter.  Fresh green beans are delicious, but canned ones got us through until the next crop.  

More than once Dad would come home expecting to harvest something, only to discover that I’d found a few first.  I would walk between the rows during the day, find something ripe and tasty, and pick it to enjoy right then and there.  Green peppers frequently went missing when I was around. I ate them like apples. Still do.  

Dad continues to garden, but the plot is smaller now.  

Dad’s had a few jobs through the years.  He worked at Service City when I was born.  Then it was the State of Kentucky. He hauled water to fill people’s cisterns when we lived in Orangeburg, and he worked in a factory when we lived on Jersey Ridge.  He was also an auxiliary police officer for a while. He worked in another factory after we moved to Cookeville, and then it was off to Bunny Bread, followed by an automotive store.  It may seem like he changed jobs more than some, but in fact, he often worked two jobs at a time. Did I mention that Dad is a hard worker?  

About 30 years ago Dad started a successful lawn equipment business.  He’s had farm equipment, mowers, blowers, chainsaws, and he and my brother service it all.  It’s a fine tribute to his hard work.

Around the end of last year, my brother and I realized that Dad would be turning 80 in February, and we plotted to throw him a surprise party.  The one thing my father treasures more than anything is his family. He’s never happier than when he’s surrounded by his children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.  We thought a monumental birthday, such as an 80th, would be an excellent reason to gather everyone.  

I managed to not only invite the immediate family, but I also invited Dad’s brothers, nieces, nephews, and other family members.  Michael found us a nice place to have the covered dish lunch, the food was arranged, and I baked a cake from my grandmother’s recipe, the one she would bake for birthdays.

When the day arrived, we had a good 40 able to attend, which is a nice size crowd for a winter birthday.  Dad was truly surprised when he came in to see everyone. Both of his children were present, and we gathered all of his grandchildren except one.  J.D. was out on the road and couldn’t make it in, but Jonathan and his family came in from Oregon, Jordan came up from Lewisburg, and the rest of Michael’s children made it.  That meant all of Mom & Dad’s great-grandchildren were there as well. Sadly, neither of Dad’s brothers could join us, although his 92-year-old brother did chat for a bit via Face Time.  We had cousins from Kentucky, who were able to stay for a couple of days. I stayed in Cookeville for a few days myself.  

I realize how fortunate I am to have my parents.  A couple of women I know recently lost their fathers, but I’m still able to celebrate mine.

The B**** is Back

Well, dear readers -- if there are any of you left, it has definitely been awhile since I’ve been here, hasn’t it? So what’s happened in the three or four or so years since we last visited?

Let’s take a little stroll down memory lane…

First, just let me say that I have not been hospitalized. That’s an achievement! What I am saying is that my health has been fairly stable, and that’s always a good thing.

Now, here are a few of the big things that have happened.

Jonathan made me a grandmother, and the little guy will be two this summer. He’s incredibly bright, he’s talking in both words and sign language, and he makes me so happy. I flew out to Oregon to meet him when he was 5 months old, and I was fortunate to be there for his first Hanukkah.

Jordan got married, gave me a granddaughter, and moved an hour south of Nashville. She just turned a year old, and she’s a bright one as well. She’ll be walking soon, and she knows quite a few words. She’s just very selective about when she says them, which reminds me so much of her daddy, who was never one to perform on command. She’s also famous for her “model face.” This little girl smiles and laughs all the time, but you point a camera at her, and she will not smile. Instead, she gives you the most serious, deadpan stare, just like a model on a runway. She nails it every time.

I've asked the grandbabies to call me Marmee. That goes back to my love of Louisa May Alcott.

Dad gave us a scare and required open heart surgery. Thankfully, he’s bounced back and is right back to working full time in his business.

Yvonne’s son gave her a grandson as well. He was born just three weeks after my little granddaughter, and he’s just about to turn one. He’s a pistol, whose favorite pastime is chasing his best friend, his dog Roxie.

I did some writing and had a couple of pieces published in some of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books: “A Cousin’s Love” is #85 in Messages from Heaven and Other Miracles and “Mama’s Little Doll” is in Life Lessons from the Cat. They’ve accepted a couple of others as well, but they won’t be published until later this year or next. Corona has screwed up a lot more than the toilet paper supply.

I was doing some occasional dog sitting for friends, so I thought I’d sign up for Rover.com. Yep, that turned into a job. Last September I was home all of about 4 days. The rest of it was spent in different homes sitting with different dogs. It’s no way to get rich, but it’s some nice extra cash every now and then. Plus, I get paid to play with dogs. How bad is that?

Just this year:

• My dad turned 80, and we surprised him with a nice little party and mini family reunion. Only one grandchild couldn’t make it -- he was on the road, but all of the great-grandchildren were there, as well other family and friends.
• A tornado just missed us here in Nashville, while it did a great deal of damage in other parts of the city. We heard it roar by. Then it went along I40 until it ran headlong into Cookeville. That’s where it became an EF4 and really did a number on my hometown. It tore up the area I grew up in and where I had my first apartment. In fact, the woman who lived in the apartment that we brought my older son home to after he was born was killed.
• And now I’m sheltering at home thanks to COVID-19. Yvonne won’t let me leave the house, so I sit here, watch movies, read, and try not to be so thoroughly bored that I start crocheting clothes for the dogs again. I have rediscovered my genealogy work, and I’ve found that fascinating for quite a few years, so that’s been a nice little thing..

Okay, that’s enough of an update for now. I know I’ve left out a ton of stuff, so I’ll address that in later posts. I’m guessing it may not have been too interesting, or I would have recalled it.

Either I lead a very quiet life, or I’m getting really forgetful in my old age.

So We're Off (In More Ways Than One)

So this could be an interesting trip for all of us. As most of my family can tell you proper punctuation and spelling are definitely not my forte. So no comments please!!!!

  I guess I should tell you a little about me. My name is Yvonne. I am the mother of three (2 biologicals {is that a word?} and 1 "step". Now before anyone gets bent out of shape about the quotation marks, I never married my partner so technically this step child isn't legally or biologically mine but I still consider him one of mine.

 I'm a pretty good cook (recipes to follow possibly). I attended Pima Community College back in the day. I never finished an associates degree, though only need about a semester to finish at least three different degrees. I also attended Pima Medical Institute and did graduate with Honors in my field of study.

As of this post I'm 50 years old (older than I ever thought I'd see). I've been close to death or dead three times in my life (stories to follow eventually). I am a spiritual person. I say this because yes I do believe in God the Father, his Son Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I also believe that this universe is based in Male/Female. Think of me what you will, no one says you have to read what I post.

I've raised my kids to the best of my ability. I by no means have ever nor will ever claim to be a great parent. I will say this though they did make it to 18...lol. Hopefully I'll do better as a Grandparent should I ever become one.

I'm blunt, stubborn, a leo and down right pigheaded at times. I rarely apologize because I am a leo and we are rarely wrong!!!! I had a drinking and drug problem when I was younger. I am bisexual and again I will not apologize. When I came out to my mom around the age of 29 she said and I quote " I knew that when you were in middle school" all I could think was " You could've given me a clue!!!!".

So there it is... my first post. A lot of people have told me I need to write out my life, it's better than a soap opera. I say it's worth a three night miniseries...lol.

Till Next Time Please Remember....
Tell the people in your life you love them, OFTEN, friends, family, it doesn't matter who. You never know if that next time will be the last chance you have to tell them.

The Sounds of the Season

I’ve always loved Christmas music.  I love the hymns, the carols, the newer songs – I love them all. They lift my soul and fill me with happiness.

There are five CDs that top my list.  If I can have them in my CD player, then I'm happy for the entire season.

The Carpenters -- Christmas Portrait



Nat King Cole -- The Christmas Song



Amy Grant -- A Christmas Album



Tchaikovsky -- The Nutcracker



A Very Special Christmas, Vol. 1

That's my list of my favorite Christmas music.  What's yours?

The Perfect Christmas Fudge

From Thanksgiving to Christmas I love to cook and bake.  I especially enjoy making candy.  One of my favorite candies is fudge -- any type, and what could be a better selection for Christmas than this one?

Candy Cane Fudge

Ingredients

• 2 10-oz pkgs. white chocolate baking chips
• 1 14-oz can of sweetened condensed milk
• 3/4 teaspoon peppermint extract
• 1 1/2 cups finely-crushed candy canes
• red food coloring

Directions

Line an 8x8-inch square baking pan with aluminum foil, and then lightly coat the bottom with butter.

In a medium size saucepan, combine the chips and the sweetened condensed milk. Cook over medium heat, stirring frequently, until the chips are melted, or at least mostly melted.

Remove the pan from the heat and continue to stir until all of the chips are melted.  Then stir in the peppermint extract and crushed candy canes.

Spread the fudge evenly in the bottom of the prepared pan.

Dot the top of the fudge with several drops of food coloring.  Cut through the fudge and food coloring with a butter knife, making a swirl pattern.

Chill for 2 hours. Remove the fudge from the baking pan by lifting the foil from both ends. Transfer fudge to cutting board, and cut into 1-inch squares.

If you'd like some Christmas fun, check out the North Pole Community on Facebook.

My Favorite Pumpkin Cheesecake

I love pumpkin cheesecake.  In fact, I've yet to eat a pumpkin cheesecake I didn't like, but this particular one is still my favorite.  I got the recipe from a holiday article in the Herald-Citizen back in the mid 80's, and I've yet to find one better.

Pumpkin Cheesecake

Ingredients

Crust:

1 ½ cups graham cracker crumbs

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1 Tablespoon sugar

1 teaspoon ground ginger

1 stick unsalted butter, melted                                                                    

Filling:

Three 8-ounce packages cream cheese, at room temperature

1 ½ cups sugar

5 eggs

One 16-ounce can pumpkin puree

1 Tablespoon vanilla extract

2 Tablespoons dark rum

2 Tablespoons minced crystallized ginger

2 teaspoons ground cinnamon

½ teaspoon grated nutmeg

Topping:

1 ½ cups sour cream

½ cup sugar

½ teaspoon ground cinnamon

2 Tablespoons dark rum

Directions

Combine crust ingredients.  Pour into a buttered, 10-inch springform pan and press the mixture onto the bottom and one-third up the sides of the pan.  Chill for 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 325 degrees.  In the bowl of an electric mixer, beat the cheese and sugar until smooth.  Continuing to beat at medium speed, add eggs one by one, beating well after each addition.

In a mixing bowl combine pumpkin, vanilla, rum, ginger, cinnamon and nutmeg.  Mix until smooth.  Add pumpkin mixture to the cream cheese and beat to combine.

Pour the filling into the crust and bake for 1 ½ hours, or until set.

Whisk the sour cream, sugar, cinnamon and rum together and spread over the cake.  Allow to cool and then chill for at least five hours before serving.

Can be made up to two days ahead.  Cover and refrigerate.

#ISpeakForPain

My pain journey began with a bicycle wreck at the age of 10.  As children will do, I went speeding down a hill, hit some loose gravel, flipped over the handlebars, landed on my knees, and did a terrific slide along the pavement.  My knees were torn up, but I think I got about a 5.9 for style.  The girls at school all thought my knees were gross because they broke open and bled every time I bent them to go up the stairs, but the guys thought I was cool, at least for a while.  Anyway, the skin grew back over my knees, but my leg pain never went away.  My mother, who has always been an incredible advocate for me, took me to doctors, including ones at the Cincinnati Children’s Hospital, which is the number three children’s hospital in the nation, but we were always told the same things.

•          We don’t know why her legs hurt
•          It’s growing pains
•         Or, my favorite, there’s nothing wrong with her, so don’t encourage her or she’ll grow up to be a hysterical female.

What that taught me was that my pain wasn’t important, so I taught myself to suffer silently, to hide behind a smiling face.  On the days that I couldn’t do that, I hid in my room, or up the crabapple tree with a book, where no one could see my tears.

As I grew up and out on my own I learned to manage my “mystery illness.”  On those occasions when it would flare up beyond my control I would seek yet another doctor.  Again, I was told such things as

•          We can’t find anything wrong with you.  Why don’t you see a psychiatrist?
•         Who would say, I can’t find anything wrong with you.  Go back to your doctor.
•          And, my new favorite, you’re a woman, you’re going to hurt, get used to it.

Once again I was taught to hide my pain behind a smile, to suffer silently in public and save my tears for when I was alone.

Finally, after moving to Nashville in 1997, 24 years after my chronic pain began, I found a doctor who listened to me.  He was honest and told me he had no idea what was wrong with me, but he vowed he would find me someone who could figure it out, and he eventually did.

In 2007, after having been bedfast for nearly 16 weeks thanks to my latest flare, my primary care doctor hospitalized me for something like the twelfth (maybe it was just the seventh) time that summer so I could get a rheumatology consult, which my mother-in-law had urged me to request.  The rheumatologist asked me a few questions, poked on some pretty painful spots on my body, looked at me and said, “You have fibromyalgia.”  I sat there and thought to myself, “So…this monster DOES have a name! And if it has a name I can fight it.”  While this was running through my head the doctor silently wrote a prescription, handed it to me without a word, and turned to walk out.  I asked, “Is there anything else I can do??”  He tossed, “Find someone to talk to,” over his shoulder as he walked out the door.

I only knew one person with fibro, so I called my mother-in-law.  Shelia and I had always gotten along well, but because of fibro we became friends.  We thrilled in conversations about our weird symptoms because there was finally someone who understood, someone who just GOT it. 

Once, during one of our talks, Shelia said, “There have to be more people out there.  Why don’t you find them for us?”

I put an ad in the paper, found a meeting place, and set up everything.  No one came.  I tried it again.  No one came.  I wanted to give up, but Shelia encouraged me to give it one more try.  It worked.  We found three other people who “got” us.

That’s how Fibro Friends began, and today we have over 500 members spread over 8 groups that either already meet or are forming in Tennessee.  That’s 500 people who understand what it’s like to live with chronic pain.  We get it.

Sadly, Shelia passed away last month, the day after Mother’s Day.  In her honor, and to raise funds for awareness and research, we’ll hold the first annual Shelia’s Walk in September 2017.  We chose September because if you know Nashville then you know that we have numerous walks in May when Fibromyalgia Awareness Day is, and we don’t want to get lost among them.  But we also chose September because Shelia’s birthday was September 2^nd, and it’s Chronic Pain Awareness Month. What could be more appropriate? I feel Shelia’s Walk is the least I can do for Fibro Friend number one, the least I can do to thank her for being my friend.

What I now take away from my pain journey is the importance of support and understanding.  I could not have made it this far without Shelia, without any of my Fibro Friends for that matter. 

I live with chronic pain, but I am not an addict.  I am a daughter, a sister, a mother, a friend, a volunteer, a pain advocate.  I am not seeking drugs.  I AM seeking a better quality of life.  To cope with a life filled with chronic pain we need support and understanding, not just from each other, but also from the medical community and our government.  This is where the National Pain Strategy comes in.

Studies from the Institute of Medicine (IOM) and Department of Veterans Affairs reveal that 4 in 10 American adults and 80 percent of veterans returning from Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom suffer from chronic pain, at a cost of more than $600 billion annually (Institute of Medicine, 2011; Lew HL, et al., Journal of Rehabilitation Research & Development, 2009). Despite this significant toll, plus the fact that pain remains the number one reason that people seek care from a health care provider, our nation continues to invest meagerly in chronic pain research (only 4 cents per patient in 2015); poorly trains and educates our health care providers on the proper assessment and management of pain; and provides minimal to no reimbursement for multidisciplinary non-pharmacologic pain management strategies – a key recommendation called for in the new CDC Guideline for Prescribing Opioids for Chronic Pain.

Implementing the objectives of the National Pain Strategy will change this! The NPS provides a clear and actionable roadmap that will generate critical population research and health services data; advance prevention and pain care strategies; address disparities in pain assessment and treatment; improve pain service delivery and reimbursement; improve health care provider education and training; and foster public education and communication strategies. Further, the NPS clearly delineates short-, medium-, and long-term deliverables, identifies key federal and non-federal stakeholders, and recommends strategies to measure impact.  

We need the National Pain Strategy.  #ISpeakForPain, and I speak for the #NationalPainStrategy. 

Why don’t you speak, too?  Take a photo of yourself holding a sign that says #ISpeakForPain and tell why you are speaking out, and then post it to social media.  If you live in Tennessee, send a letter to Senator Lamar Alexander asking that he send a letter to the Department of Health and Human Services by the end of June requesting a written implementation plan and corresponding budget from them to be submitted within 60 days of the Committee’s request.  If you live elsewhere in the United States send a letter to you legislative health aide asking them to contact Sen. Alexander about the NPS.  

Together, we can change the face of pain in the United States, but we must act now.  It's as simple as saying #ISpeakForPain.

For more information on fibromyalgia or chronic pain, check out the National Fibromyalgia & Chronic Pain Association.  You can also e-mail me at TnFibroFriends@gmail.com.

Note: This post combines an excerpt from presenation given in Memphis, Brentwood, and Knoxville, TN, to kick off the #ISpeakForPain campaign, as well as a portion of the letter sent to #SenatorLamarAlexander to request that he speak up for the National Pain Strategy.